First off, let me say this: as a sex doll product reviewer, I've seen my fair share of bizarre things. I've tested a dildo modeled after the lower half of a King Kong gorilla (who exactly uses these things? Well, I do). I've evaluated anal plug-shaped mouth gags. I've even endured a so-called "redefinition of pleasure" sex machine that only redefined my fear of power tools.

But nothing—I mean nothing—could have prepared me for the "Pink Pouncer," an alien sex doll from another planet. And you... well, you get the picture. But nothing—I repeat, nothing—could have prepared me for this extraterrestrial sex doll: the "F7023" from Linkdolls.

This isn't your ordinary sex doll. Oh no. It's a 162 cm (63.8 inches) tall, 44 kg (97 lbs) alien nymph with pink skin, snow-white hair, four eyes, six breasts, and a cat-like mouth—just without the whiskers. Yes, you read that right. Six breasts. Four eyes. No whiskers. As someone might say, "Let's make a sex doll, but add some interstellar adventure and a dash of 'what the heck.'"

So, buckle up because I'm about to take you through the unboxing, assembly, and—spoiler alert—the highly entertaining "testing phase" of this extraordinary companion.

Unboxing: A Ritual Filled with Confusion and Awe

1. The First Thing I Noticed: The Smell
   The box arrived at my doorstep like a gift from a perverted alien Santa. It was heavy, and the label was discreet, containing almost no personal information about me. I dragged it inside, tore open the tape, and was immediately greeted by... well, the new doll smell. You know that faint plastic odor, like it just came off the assembly line? To be honest, I kind of like it, though some might find it off-putting. But it's easy to handle—just air it out on the balcony.

2. A Gaze into Her Eyes
   Inside, the doll lay cocooned in a sea of foam peanuts, like a queen in an alien tomb. She was wrapped in a semi-transparent plastic bag, looking like a futuristic burrito. I peeled it off, and there she was: F7023, staring at me with her four eyes. Two were large, almond-shaped, and emitted a faint blue glow. The other two, smaller ones, were positioned above the first pair, resembling those of deep-sea creatures. Her hair was pure white, styled in messy, asymmetrical waves, as if screaming, "I'm coming to a Martian party... and I'm ready!"

3.Six Breasts of Various Sizes!
But let's talk about her breasts. Six of them. Three pairs, stacked like a cosmic mille-feuille. They were firm yet pliable, each with a slightly different shape—as if the artist designing her got bored halfway through and said, "Screw it, let's mix things up!" I counted twice to be sure. Six. Not a single one more or less.

Assembly: Putting Together a Robot-like Head

Now, I've assembled IKEA furniture blindfolded, so putting this doll together wasn't exactly rocket science. However, the instructions... were rather minimalist. Her arms and legs were made of TPE (thermoplastic elastomer), a material that felt oddly like human skin but with a bit more elasticity. It was soft, smooth, and—I have to admit—kind of addictive to touch. The joints were articulated, so I could pose her however my alien-loving heart desired. I chose the "seductive recliner" position—why not?

Next up, it was time to attach the head—

1.Installing the Screw for the Head-Neck Connection
The manufacturer kindly included an M16-sized screw. Yes, just one screw. And this little guy was the key to securing the head. It had threads at the bottom, ready to lock into place where it met the neck. Just above the threads, there was a specially designed interface for the head. They seemed made for each other.

The doll's head was lying beside the body, as if patiently awaiting its moment of glory. I picked up the M16 screw and started threading it into the hole. It was like fitting the last piece of a puzzle. Then I took the alien head, aligned it with the interface, and gently placed it on. With a click, the head was securely fastened. No effort at all. A perfect fit.

2. Treating Her Like a Princess and Taking Her Out of the Box
   As for getting the assembled alien beauty out of the packaging and into position? It was a breeze. Just bend her arms and legs at a 90-degree angle. Like she was doing some yoga stretches. Then, I picked her up like a princess—and let's be honest, she deserved that treatment—and carried her to her new home.

Now there she was, all set up and ready to go.

Testing Phase: A Journey Beyond Human Comprehension

Now, let's get to the good stuff. The really good stuff.

I started with the basics: a visual inspection. In one word, this doll's figure was stunning. Her waist was a slender 60 cm (23.6 inches), her hips a voluptuous 97 cm (38.2 inches), and her bust a full 104 cm (40.9 inches). And those six breasts? They jiggled like jelly on a plate as I moved her. It was... mesmerizing.

But the real test was its functionality. This doll had three "orifices": oral (15 cm/5.9 inches deep), vaginal (17 cm/6.7 inches deep), and anal (18 cm/7.1 inches deep). I decided to start with the oral cavity. Its mouth was shaped like a cat's—wide, triangular, and slightly pouty. It had teeth, yet they were soft and elastic, like a baby's pacifier. I inserted a (I swear, clean) test object, and it fit perfectly. The TPE material was elastic but firm, with good suction.

Next up were the vaginal and anal openings. According to the product description, both had raised textures designed to "enhance pleasure." I tested them with the same (clean!) test object, and wow! The depth and texture were impressive. The vaginal opening was slightly tighter than the anal one, but both provided satisfying resistance.

The overall feeling was eerily exciting. I'm not sure if it was the alien vibe or the fact that I was technically having sex with a seemingly sentient, multi-eyed creature (it was incredibly lifelike, with great craftsmanship), but it was definitely an unforgettable experience.

Conclusion: A Love Letter to Alien Weirdos

So, is the alien sex doll, F7023—"The Pink Pouncer"—worth the investment? Let's break it down:

Final Thoughts

If you're into "alien fetishes" or just want a truly unique sex doll, F7023 is worth considering. She's not for everyone—she's a hottie with a bust bigger than a bra factory. But if you're willing to explore the limits of sexual pleasure, she might just be your new cosmic companion.

As for me, I'm still trying to explain to my neighbors why there's a six-breasted, four-eyed alien doll in my living room. But hey, life's too short for boring sex toys.

• Rating: 4.5/5
  (Deducted half a star because the eyes are cool but also a bit scary.)
• Where to Buy:
  If you're ready to take the plunge (or embark on an intergalactic journey), you can purchase the alien sex doll, model F7023 "The Pink Pouncer," from Linkdolls. If aliens really do knock on your door, don't blame me.
• Disclaimer: No real aliens were harmed during this review. However, the doll was thoroughly "tested."

Well, that's the wild, wacky, and wonderful journey I had with the Pink Pouncer. See you next time, as we continue to explore the universe (and your wildest fantasies)! 👽💖